Why have an affair – the exit planon February 9, 2012 at 11:14 pm
One of the key reasons a lot of people have a bit of fun on the side is they are dis-satisfied with their current relationship. It may sound like an obvious statement but there are a lot of different types of affairs, and different reasons behind each one.
One that I see people engage in within my circle of assosciates is the ‘exit plan’ affair. Basically their shopping around for a way out of their relationship, and they haven’t got the courage to break it off with their spouse/partner. It’s such a ridiculous way of going about things, as they’re striving to get caught, which can only end badly for pretty much everyone involved. Why put yourself through it!?!
Think about why you’re thinking of doing it? Me? Well, I do it for the sex obviously. And not just sex, but ‘the excitement of getting to know someone’ sex, the kind that you have in those first few months of lust. That’s the type of sex that is impossible to maintain (the uniqueness of it) over the long term, with any lover, let alone the one you commit to share your life with. Trying to keep it spontaneous just feels forced after a while.
Which is why this isn’t the type of affair I’m having. If you’re considering having an affair as a way to get out of your current relationship it’s not the way to go. Especially if you’re thinking of having an affair with someone you’d like to be with in a more permanent relationship. This is really sticky territory.
You’re far better off seeking marraige/relationship counselling and seeing if that can mend what’s gone wrong in your current relationship (I mean, you liked each other once, right?). Then if that doesn’t work, or you partner doesn’t want to do it, learn to live with them, or leave them. It’s a massive decision but it really boils down to one simple choice.
If you use the exit plan affair it’s going to do a lot of harm, but maybe that’s what you’re after? Only you can dig down and think about why you’d want to do that to someone you once cared about. Make sure you don’t do it with someone that you want to pursue a proper relationship with, and make sure your new interest doesn’t find out. If they know you had an affair to get out of your relationship, then in their mind there’s nothing to stop you from doing it to them. Once you reveal the truth about your nature, there’s no going back.
If you’re thinking about this type of affair please email me and tell me why.